Seven Tips to Help You Pursue Rest
In the previous article, we looked at Dr. Saundra Daulton-Smith’s (2017) seven types of rest and listed associated practices for each. This article offers several suggestions for how you can implement restful practices into your everyday life.
Seven Tips to Help You Pursue Rest
1. Become a Student of Your Self. Learn to examine your body, thoughts, emotions, etc. Where in my body do I feel tension? How fast is my breathing when I think about my future? What things do I say to myself when I am stressed? Use a journal or guided meditation to help you explore.
Observe these cues, and don’t beat yourself up over what you identify. Simply acknowledge your emotions and experiences for what they are. Just like your body informs you of hunger or fatigue, your emotions (both positive and negative) may signal something important to pay attention to.
The more you learn about “your self,” the better you can nourish and care for your needs.
2. Organize Your Values. Make a list of 20+ values, interests, or priorities. Ask yourself: What do I hope to accomplish this week? What do I want my life to be about? These can be related to health, work, relationships, or hobbies. From there, identify your top 3-5 values (or conversely, cross off values until you have 3-5 left).
What values are more urgent than others? Where does rest rank in your level of importance? To organize, think of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs: practical/physiological needs (e.g., food, shelter, safety, financial security, health, rest) provide the foundation for exploring relational and individual desires (e.g., belonging, esteem, self-actualization).
Consider how these values currently fit in your schedule, then write out specific ways you can implement rest as high priority into your routine. Remember, there will always be more activities and responsibilities than you have time for. Make time for the things that matter most to you.
3. Discern When to Say No and Yes. The choice is yours, even amidst external demands. Sometimes, it is necessary to say “no” in order to recharge physically or emotionally, even if it means turning down “good” things that provide other dimensions of rest, like going out with friends (social).
There may be other times where it would be beneficial to say “yes” to things, even when you’re running on empty. Going on a cycle, playing an instrument, or having a meaningful conversation with your partner requires an investment of energy, humility, and even risk & vulnerability, however the byproducts of these can provide the restorative energy you’re looking for.
4. Try Something New. Be open-minded. Explore and try out a variety of new practices that may stretch your comfort zone or normal routine. This may help you discover rhythms that are sustainable and enjoyable. Plus, it allows you to develop a tool-belt of different restful exercises that keeps things fresh as well as helps you stay flexible amidst changing seasons of life.
At the same time, if a practice doesn’t feel like it’s working out, feel free to return to the drawing board and re-evaluate.
5. Manage Expectations. Do not expect to become an expert overnight. As with acquiring any new skill, pursuing rest may be awkward, frustrating, and ironically, energy-consuming. Minimize negative self-talk and give yourself grace; you’re learning something difficult and new!
Instead, start small and take things one step at a time. Your brain needs time (~28 days) to develop these skills and to grow new neurons that make these practices more natural and easy to perform. Start off with 1-2 simple practices that you can easily incorporate into your routine. As you master these new skills, over time you can begin to expand your repertoire.
You do not need to completely overhaul your calendar or lifestyle. Even if you can find a few minutes to take a walk in between studying or to reflect on your day during your evening commute, you’re off to a great start! Be realistic of your limits, but also be optimistic.
6. Invite Others. You don’t have to navigate this on your own. Ask for feedback on your progress from your partner or trusted friends. Gather wisdom or suggestions from mentors. Process obstacles with a counselor. Learning from the experiences of others can give you unique insights that you might not have been able to consider or see on your own.
7. Finding “Balance.” One of the biggest myths we tell ourselves about life is that it is possible to achieve “balance”—the perfect blend of work, leisure, growth, relationships, and rest. However, one only needs to live one day to realize that life is unpredictable and chaotic, with some days/weeks being busier and more challenging than others.
Instead of viewing balance as a steady line on a graph, consider it as riding a wave—taking the difficult, “uphill” seasons in stride while learning to enjoy the more peaceful, “downhill” seasons. Some weeks may require more energy than others, however, you still have control over what boundaries you can set.
Conclusion
Overall, rest is a practice. It is a process that requires ongoing intentionality, consistency, and patience. In many ways, the pursuit is lifelong. However, as this series attempts to show, you don’t have to be tossed about by the demands of life. Though it requires effort and energy, rest is not impossible to attain, even in the busiest of seasons. You can create the skills and space necessary to find restoration in your daily rhythms. These tips are by no means exhaustive, but they can serve as a helpful starting point as you pursue your journey toward a rested and restored self.
About the Author
Mark Cadlaon, M.A., LPC (CO), LPCC (OH), NCC, BCN is a licensed therapist based in Denver, Colorado. Mark has years of experience helping adults across the U.S. and Europe navigate life transitions, anxiety, burnout, and existential questions. If you are interested in working with Mark, please contact to schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation.
References
Dalton-Smith, S. (2017). Sacred rest: Recover your life, renew your energy, restore your sanity. New York, NY: FaithWorks.